The wooden potato masher story

 Don't explain things to a 3 & 1/2 year old, bad things can happen.

 When my brother in law Fred came to visit later, I was impressed with his Sailor Suit because I had never seen one before that and he looked important.

In the background are Mr. Cristo and the Old Man Asleep sitting on a box. They're retired CIA and had something to do with Grooming Fred in becoming an Agent. Fred had a amazing life and I'll write more about him later in my 50's section

 Was my brother in law Fred Hatch in the Navy before he married my sister Gloria or did that come later? My sister Gloria had been off to college in Marquette Michigan is all I remember about her. One day my mother said,"Gloria is coming home tonight". Nobody said she was married and was bringing her husband home with her. I had gone to sleep that night without giving any of this much thought and didn't know when she (they) arrived.

Come mornings, I get up before anyone else. On the way to the kitchen, one had to walk through the girls bedroom, then I remembered, Gloria's home. When I looked towards the bed, there was Gloria, then was shocked to see a man in bed with her. Quietly, I crept over to where he laid, face up, big and dark skined and decided "he" doesn't belong here. Thinking that Gloria doesn't even know he's in bed with her, I hurried off to the kitchen. It never occurred to me that my parents should be awaken to let them deal with the problem as I felt this mater should be taken care of immediately. After turning on the kitchen light, there it was, the perfect weapon. A solid wood potato masher is as hefty as a baseball bat, except very short with a small handle. My little hands fit around it perfectly and the knob on the end would assure it wouldn't slip out on me. Quietly I was able to get right up close to this beast, still face up and softly snoring, I lifted the potato masher up behind my head. With all the force a three and a half year old could muster up, the potato masher smashed him on the four head. Fred let out a holler and I had that masher up behind my head again (thinking he's not dead yet), Gloria screamed "Philip". Now I was thinking that maybe I screwed up as Fred was moaning and groaning and his eyes hadn't opened yet to see what hit him. Needless to say, I hurried out of there waiting for someone to explain things to me.

The conclusion of the later family discussion was, they "now" realize they should have told me that Gloria wasn't coming home alone and I was only trying to protect her.